Circle?

Why am i still remain in the circle?

I already know the answer but why am i still waiting for the answer?

Im living in a circle that keeps me going in the same problems that i encounter and it repeat again and again.

I do not want to get hurt anymore with the same deep hurt.

I'm just so tired of this repeated problems and the same old hurt.

Why do I have such a terrible feeling?

Would it be a better life for me without this terrible feeling?

I thought i was already got rid of this painful and tired circle but somehow I just realised that I am still in the circle that has no exit,

Why cant i just leave this circle?

I really don't want to remain there for the rest of my life.

I just want to get out of this painful circle.

Im tired of facing the same problems that will never make me grow instead of hurting me more and more.

I want to have freedom.

Free from the terrible feeling,

Free from the hurts,

Free from facing the same old problems.

I really need a breakthrough,

I used to tell my friends to guard their hearts when they have the same feeling as me,

But I,myself,

did not show an example of guarding my heart when i face the same thing.

Whenever i have that feelings,I'll just get myself in the trap without realising that it is a trap,the same old trap.

I tend to make assumption by my own according to what i observed and feel

But somehow the assumption that i thought of, was just the opposite of the reality.

I told myself that I will remain strong when problem comes but I am getting weaker and weaker from the inside.

Is this what all the trials about that God is testing me?

I really need the strength from God.

Im seriously tired of this circle.I really want to destroy it once and for all!

to my beloved friends

Right here just wanna wish happy birthday to 2 of my friend who share the same birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KWOK SING AKA SING SING

AND

SANDY NG AKA NENEK MOYANG

(04/03/10)

The Journey Of Life

It was a rough chinese new year this year.i have lost my loved one during this chinese new year.Everything is just so sudden that i really cant imagine it.The journey of his life had reached to the end on 20th February 2010.He had being strong during his journey.i never forget the moments we spent together,the moments how he took care of the four of us and the moments he used to share his stories when we were young.But now im feeling full of regrets that i neglected him when he was really in need.I didnt really took care of him and complain so much whenever i got the chance to visit him when he was ill.Im so sorry of being an uncaring grandchildren to him.If he can read this,i wanna take this opportunity to apologize on everything that i've done.He is my only grandpa that watched me born to this world and took care of me since i was born.He had impacted my life so much in the sense of protecting me from all the scoldings and beatings by my mom.He was like a babysitter that he babysits me all the time.Time passes so fast and now is the time for him to rest peacefully after a long journey of his life.i would say that indeed a great journey for him.As a lesson for me,appreciate and care for my loved ones when i still have the chance so that as i bid goodbye to this world one day,it will be a satisfying and with no regrets journey of my life.All the memories that he had given me will be remain in my heart till the very last breath.And i pray to the Lord for protection over his soul. i believe that eventhough he had gone,he still can read this.
A message to my one and only beloved Grandpa:
I LOVE YOU!!
You're always my strong and caring grandpa!
thanks for impacting and guiding my life!
I promise you that i'll appreciate and for everyone around me.
May You Rest in Peace!
Goodbye!

我爱你！
你总是我的强烈和关心爷爷！
感谢影响和指导我的生命！
我答应你，我会喜欢和我周围的每一个人。
愿你安息！
再见!

In Love With You piano version..

i wish i can play like them:)

the LOVE of my loved one

My memories of my childhood has recall back when i see him lying on the bed looking ill.Tears begin to flow from my eyes looking at him not able to talk,to walk and to eat properly.I feel bad that im not able to do anything for him to get out of this bad condition.He is getting older and older everytime i visit him.Whenever i see him lying on the bed looking ill it recalls me when i was young how he took care of me.When i was young,i spent most of the time with him.I remembered he always took my sis and i for evening walk and wait for my return from school by bus.i still remembered he always like to chit chat with my sis and i when we were young.He even took care of our pets(rabbits and a dog).And now all of us have grown up and he is getting older and looking more ill.I feel so touched whenever i visit him,he will recognise me.I still remember he once was a strong man with a loving heart who always carried me to everywhere and now he is so weak but i still can say that he is still being strong from the inside.Today my parents,my 2nd sister and i went back to see him as he having a high fever since yesterday.His condition now is getting more ill and seeing him breathing difficultly and giving a weak response when we talk to him.I feel really terrible seeing him in this condition.He'll be admitting to hospital soon when my aunt is back from kl.I pray hard that he will get well soon no matter what.
Although he wont be reading this but i just wanna say to him that no matter how weak is his health is now, he is still a strong,loving and caring grandpa to me.i pray that Jesus will heals him and grant him strength to go through this obstacles.

an AWESOME day out

I guess the title tells it all la..but im gonna elaborate it also.
Yesterday i really had an AWESOME day with KIMBERLY AND VALARIE!!!
After so many month didnt see each other,and finally we got to spent time again in jamming,crapping,laughing non stop,singing off-pitched and lots more.I really enjoyed it alot la.I just so miss the days in my secondary school where we actually spent our time almost everyday during recess and kept ponteng-ing class and hide in the chapel.And also jamming in class when there was no teacher.Kinda sad also that i can only met up with val and kim as most of my gang members not back yet.sad:( And also not forgottne carmen le,she supposed to join us but last min changed of her plan that she needed to go Jelapang.sigh.Really hope that one day i can actually meet up with everyone and have a great jamming session.

Okay lets focus on what we did yesterday.As i already mentioned that we had jamming session.We kept crapping alot during jamming and i kept singing off-pitched.It really fun seeing kim and val play guitar again and the harmonica.Its been a long time since i ever see them jam together.We've done some recording too.Val's mom helped us to record.Thanks to auntie Theresina.And also thanks to Martin Jalleh for the transportation back.
Here are some pics and recordings.Sadly recordings couldnt be able to play here.For more info,pls visit my facebook ya..thanks=)

SS me..yeong sui me..

The Bergaya in action *o*

The Joker in action..lol

THe Both of them!!

Today had a great day too in SAM TET.I went to sam tet at 12somthing after my church morning service.I went to sam tet to see their choir and qiu ning is involve in the choir.Today Susanna Saw,choir director from kl,came to ipoh to train SamTet choir.I've learnt alot from Susanna's teaching today although im kinda awkward la sitting at the corner and watching them practising.I was quite amazed by their choir and honestly speaking that they are way better than my previous school choir but somehow i still support my own school.=)
i've done some audio recording too but i couldnt upload it la as the format not suitable.sigh.
thats it=)

signing offf--

Finally i have a time to reactivate my blog here.Its been a long time didnt get to update here as im kinda busy with school and kind lazy to update it.Lately,i've encountered a lot problems but not gonna talk abt it as it'll take days to talk abt it.Well lets jump back to topic,today my school life same as usual la except in the morning kinda moody and got distracted by something which im not gonna mention it.While towards school dismiss,Mr. K came to my class and scolded us (as usual la) as my class were very noisy(im one of the noisy one) and disturbed his class so he came over and bombard us nicely saying that we are like hooligans. Then out of sudden,K started his boiling button and scolded my class rep and wanted to slap him.K also tried to threaten him either he'll slap jon(monitor) or call his father to see him.Jon chose to call his dad to see Mr K.and they had a short conversation and everything solved in the end.I feel sorry to Jon also le cause i caused him got into trouble.This time really my BAD..IM SORRY..

After school,i went for compilation for awhile and unexpectedly compilation cancelled last minute AGAIN! thanks to Vellu~sigh
Since no compilation,the whole disco went to town together to settle the orders for the fundraising stuffs.Its the first time that i ever go out with my members together.I felt like a big family spending time together although just a short while.I reached back to school at 2pm and quickly rushed back to Main Convent by hannah's car to attend the choir prac.I reached parade at 2.10pm and by the time i reached MC was already 2.30pm due to my leg's hurt that caused me to walk slow i injured my toes thanks to my prefect shoes..sigh.
When i finally reached MC,it brought me disappointment.As i promised Valarie that i'll be dropping by and went to search for her but failed.In the end i saw Navithra and asked her abt the choir prac and then i finally found out that the prac has cancelled last minute.Really brings me to disappointment le.sigh.But one thing that i really gained when i went back to MC is that i began to remember those memories with my bestfriends in MC last time.I really miss that place and my friends too.I wish to have a turn back time and enjoy once again the moments i spent with my beloved friends.But i know i can only dream of it but not for reality le.I hope i can really get to meet up with all of them again at our memorable place.
Miss them lots!!!!!!